I’m starting this post in the midst of a train of thought. If you perceived some of my previous Friday confessions as being a little out there, maybe you should just back away now. Prepare yourself. Brace the nearest stationary object. And settle in for a bumpy ride.
Although I kid, I’m actually very mentally torn right in this instant. I guess that’s sort of my defense mechanism. Skunks spray a bottle of toxic perfume whenever they get scared (thank goodness that’s not the case!) and instead I make cooky jokes.
So, what has gotten me all up in a frantic tizzy? (Note to self: Look up tizzy later to make sure that it doesn’t have some alternate, offensive meaning that may be off-putting to readers). Well, remember that internship interview that I had a few weeks back? I briefly mentioned it in my WIAW post, and… I got it.
And that’s a good thing. No doubt about it, being a freshman and being offered an internship like this is an incredible opportunity. However, there are a few things that I really really can’t get past.
Like the fact that it’s three hours away.
And the fact that I won’t be able to see my friends or family much over the summer.
And the fact that I won’t know anyone there.
I just don’t know.
It’s scary when you’re such a decision-based person like me. Of course I’ve written out the pros and cons list. (In case you are wondering, it equated to an overwhelming ratio of pros to cons).
You see where I’m conflicted, right?
Now let’s add in another little game-changer, shall we?
Today I was offered another job.
“What? Another one?! That’s great!” (At least… I assume that’s what you all are thinking. Maybe). This one is close to home, but it pays a lot less and is basically all labor-oriented. It won’t help me exercise my mind or expand my business skills. It won’t give me the chance to network for future career opportunities or teach me good communication skills. Basically I’ll just become a very good box-packer (which could be considered a good skill in itself to have for all future moving expeditions… Eeep. There I go again with the (…)’s and sarcastic responses).
What it all boils down to when making this decision is choosing what I feel is best for me. I hate it, but deep down I know that the far away internship is what I should be doing.
I HATE WHEN I KNOW WHEN I’M RIGHT, BUT I DON’T WANT TO BE RIGHT.
I want to be blind, uninformed, a skeptic, stuck in my ways.
I want to stay true to my homebody nature and be at peace in my own bed this summer.
But I don’t think I will.
I think I’m going to call that company back and accept this amazing opportunity that I’ve been presented. No regrets… Or at least, that’s what I’m crossing my fingers and toes to the bloody grips of death for (Whoa. I think just a “hoping for” probably would have sufficed there. No need to get graphic!).
When I started this post I planned on writing the first part NOW, and the second part after I made my final decision. But in typing this all out I think I’ve ultimately arrived at my final decision.
For better or for worse, here goes nothing.
What is your Friday Confession?